I hope Yuzu shops at the 24/7 FanyuMart.
Because it is ALWAYS open. Thanks to Yuzu’s incredible, worldwide fan base and the magic of time zones, there is always a Fanyu awake SOMEWHERE. I like to believe we take turns working the counter and stocking the shelves at the Fanyu コンビニ [convenience store]. And while anyone is welcome to visit (well, with certain exceptions…and you know who you are…and I think you know why), we are really only concerned about providing for one customer: Yuzu.
No matter what time of day Yuzu happens to be lurking (because we’ve already established he totally does) there is always a Fanyu standing by to help him. And whether they greet him with “いらっしゃいませ” [welcome], “How can we help you, sir?” or simply “YUZUUUUUUUUUUUU!” he will find what he needs. For the record, the Fanyu cashier who just screams “YUZUUUUUUUUUUUU!” at him when he walks in is still in training. But believe me, it takes a long time for a Fanyu to break that impulse…
…and I’m doing the best that I can.
Yuzu can show up wearing his イヤホン [earphones], glasses, hoodie (as long as it isn’t still in a display case) and track pants. Heck. He can shop in his pajamas if he wants, but, fair warning, I think even the well-trained employees would lose every ounce of decorum if he walked in wearing those. But no matter the shopping attire, he can quickly pick up the necessities and then be on his way. I promise. It’s on page 1 of the Employee Handbook:
No clinging to Yuzu’s leg as he tries to leave the store.
“I’ll take a bag of potato chips, some gyoza, a honeybun (for Pooh-san) and a photo of “SEIMEI” me as a balloon animal.”
The shelves are always full of Yuzu. 小さい [small] Yuzu, fighter Yuzu, beautiful Yuzu…we even have imports: English, Korean, Spanish or Chinese speaking Yuzu. They might be rare, but they’re worth it. Though I do imagine Yuzu walking down the aisles and wondering, ‘Will they ever stop restocking that video of me staring at those two right-handed gloves?’
But seriously. After all that has happened and continues to happen despite his current radio silence (not counting those recent glorious additions to The White Wall Series), Yuzu needs us.
I didn’t watch Worlds. I just couldn’t. For one thing, I didn’t want to see the empty seat that was supposed to be mine. There’s also the fact that I don’t watch figure skating unless it’s Yuzu. I knew it was going to be painful and unfair without Yuzu even being in the arena. On hearing everything absurd and infuriating that happened, all I could think was that I hope someone gave Yuzu a new video game and canceled the television service so he wasn’t watching. Better yet, maybe he went to the サウナ [sauna] with Tsuzuki-sensei… But I’m sure he watched. And I’m sure he could calculate instantly what the skaters should’ve been scoring (“That jump was worth a GOE of +1.4532111118…4.”) and then would see it receive double that…or more. It breaks my heart to think of him watching the injustice live.
I watched an interview from Worlds 2017 where he said the main thing that got him through his 悔しい [disappointment] from his 5th place Short Program was the fans. I hope nothing more than for that to be true now – that we are pulling Yuzu through this difficult time.
Because it must be hard to love something so much and see it treated so badly. I know we Fanyus feel this way about Yuzu, and Yuzu must feel this way about Figure Skating. What an incredible burden it must be to feel you are single handedly keeping an entire genre of sport alive…especially one you’re so in love with…and whose parents are constantly trying to force you to break up…
So how do we tell Yuzu what he needs to hear and when he needs to hear it? We never know how he’s feeling. We can’t look him in the eye and see what he needs in that exact moment. (Wouldn’t THAT be somethin’?!) That’s why I hope he shops at the 24/7 FanyuMart. So we can give him what he needs – when he needs it – and he can pick it out himself.
Maybe sometimes he’s questioning his ability. Might we suggest you fill your cart with the “triple axel out of nowhere” montage?
Maybe sometimes he wonders if skating is all he is. Here’s a party-sized bag of support messages that go far beyond competitive victories.
Maybe sometimes he needs to laugh. There’s a special on “Shuzo-san with the Folding Chair” combo packs.
Maybe sometimes he gets angry and just needs an ally. Our staff will meet you at your car and load the twenty pound bag of unfair scoring analyses and expletive emojis into the trunk for you, Yuzu.
I hope he can always feel our passionate protection of him as he fills his bag with what he needs and comes back when he’s craving something different later – be it love, chocolate or vindication. Because for you, Yuzu, we’re always fully stocked with all three.
