Portal to Yuzu. (AKA “My Prologue Thesis”)
On November 4, while much of the world slept, Yuzu changed everything.
Prologue was beyond anything we could have imagined. Though, trust me, we had tried! Remember how Yuzu had all those journals he wrote notes in (with his multicolor pen) about his skating? I bet he has one…two…twenty-seven full of notes from all his SNS lurking. And it’s no surprise that “thesis drop Yuzu” took exceptionally detailed notes. Turns out, while we thought we were posting random things we love about Yuzu, we were actually cultivating a “Yuzu Wish List”…FOR YUZU. Because he gave us so many things he knew we would miss once he stopped competing: the jacket removal, the six-minute warm-up, Pooh-san (though we’re still holding out for the reunion with original Pooh-san, Yuzu), the bottle of colored water, the official competition introduction (lucky thing he pulled out Draw Tile Number One in the Prologue Draw or that could’ve been embarrassing).…I mean, he even blew his nose for us. And he probably didn’t. even. need to.
But he also gave us things we never knew we needed.
Reading the names of colors: I could listen to Yuzu speak Japanese forever and ever…and ever, but I had no idea what just hearing him say the basic colors could do for me.
The skating backwards while talking: It was like he was flirting with us. “Just TRY to pay attention to what I’m saying instead of what I’m doing. 頑張って!”
Who else was (even more than usual) riveted by watching Yuzu take off and put back on the water bottle cap? Anyone?
And yet, I found myself fearing we (myself included) might seem ungrateful when commenting amongst ourselves (though, don’t forget, Yuzu is in alllll the rooms with us now) about the other things we want to see. I worried Yuzu might think, ‘I gave you nine Yuzu programs, image mapping around Yuzu, Yuzu question-answering, Choose Your Own Yuzu Adventure, a limited edition line of Yuzu merchandise…and you weren’t happy with the direction I combed my Yuzu hair? I even blew my Yuzu nose for you when I didn’t need to!’ But it isn’t about us being ungrateful. It is about Yuzu having such an unbelievable body of work (didn’t think I was going to add that “OF WORK” part; did ya?) that keeps us Fanyus wanting more. Let’s face it. There is an endless list of things we are crazy about when it comes to Yuzu.
Speaking of crazy, I can’t imagine what it must have been like ordering the inventory of Prologue official goods:
How many can we sell? All of them.
But how many exactly? All of them.
So we should produce…? As many as can be made – we will sell them all and we will still have a waiting list into 2035.
Days before sales started (aka “Merch Bloodbath Day”), I spent a good amount of time trying to become World Shopping certified – or at least informed enough to be dangerously capable of purchasing anything I clicked on. It was so complicated that I think there may have been an option to actually purchase Yuzu. Gosh, I hope I accidentally ordered three of those…
But this was nothing compared to what I have previously described as “Ticket Lottery Rocket Science.” If getting a Prologue hoodie seems complex, just try getting a ticket to the ACTUAL SHOW. When the instructions and security filters were released, it looked like maybe only Yuzu’s mom was going to be qualified to attend. And I think we can all agree that we wouldn’t blame him for that. But you just better check your own gloves, Yuzu.
Even Pooh-san was sitting in Toronto looking at the Prologue website and thinking “しまった. [Shoot.] I should’ve had Yuzu leave me a burner phone and a credit card number.”
But back to the official goods. (I can’t be the only one who kept window shopping at the Axel Store – good one, Yuz.) I loved how Yuzu wore a different version of the Prologue shirt on the second day. I like to imagine the merchandise team saying, “Hey Yuzu, we sold out of the white T-shirt. Can you wear the black one tonight so we can sell out that one too? In fact, could you wear the LMEY keychain around your neck instead of your feather necklace? Can we strap a couple of the tumblers to your skates?” At the end, when he was looking for the microphone, I half expected the stage manager to say “Oh, sorry. We thought you were done with it. We sold that too.” Which is totally fine! I would set up a lemonade stand on my street and sell drinks for a nickel if I thought it would help Yuzu.
But it wouldn’t be a post about Yuzu performances if we didn’t talk about the hair. Surprisingly, it wasn’t until 春よ、来い [Haru yo koi] that I had a realization: Yuzu’s hairstyle wasn’t changing between programs. This realization may have come late because 春よ、来い [Haru yo koi] NEEEEDS natural, wispy Yuzu hair. But what could he have done? It’s not like he could go backstage, wash his hair, restyle it between programs and come back 20 minutes later. Then again, we would have waited!
In fact, this is the perfect place to insert a special message to Yuzu: Please do not ever add any other skaters into your shows. Who am I kidding? This isn’t a special request. This is a plea. A down-on-the-ground-begging for all the Fanyus who didn’t get to attend Prologue. Please let all your shows be ONE MAN ice shows. There is only ONE MAN we want to see and that ONE MAN is YOU. We will happily wait through multiple intermissions so you can rest. We’ll even leave and come back or bring a sack lunch so we can see ONLY you and no one else. If we have to, we will bring sleeping bags. Oh my, that brings back certain memories…
And while we’re talking about being down on the ground begging, I think it will surprise no one that I have to take a moment to fully appreciate…the return of Romeo and Juliet 1.0. I have made my Yuzu program preferences quite clear – to the point of people sending me R&J 1.0 bouquets from “Yuzu’s Flower Shop” and messaging me that they thought of me the moment Yuzu skated that program (and given MY first thoughts when Yuzu skates that program, I know that takes some serious FanyuFanme favorite reinforcement.) This will always be my favorite program – not for all the obvious moments of brilliance, but because of how it makes me FEEL. Every. Single. Time. I am certain that watching Yuzu perform this live on the CiONTU broadcast was when I completely, whole-heartedly, Cupid’s arrow, Elmo swoon GIF fell in love with him. Yes, he demanded my attention in Sochi. Yes, I remembered him when he arrived in Pyeongchang. And yes, who didn’t declare him their new favorite human after his second-gold-medal winning SEIMEI performance? But it was 2018 R&J 1.0 when Yuzu reached through the TV (all the way from Japan), grabbed my heart and said, “私のものです [It’s mine.]” There has never been a more beautiful, emotional version of the story of Romeo and Juliet performed anywhere, on any stage, by anyone since Shakespeare wrote it. You’ve heard the phrase “burst into tears.” I know what it means to do that. When I see R&J 1.0, I BURST into tears. And it always catches me by surprise, even though I know it’s going to happen. Yuzu looks at his hand – I burst into tears. Yuzu grabs his own wrist – I burst into tears. Yuzu touches his face – I burst into tears. When he finished the program at Prologue, did anyone else hear whimpering sounds and wonder what it was? Probably not. Because it was ME…sitting alone in front of the TV in my apartment (which is a completely unfair distance from Pia Arena in Yokohama). I just have to say one more thing about R&J 1.0: For the love of the vial of poison, STOP CUTTING AWAY when Yuzu goes to his knee for the quintessential R&J 1.0 moment! Ok. Now I will move on, lest this become a thesis on R&J 1.0. (Which I had actually considered writing…from all the journals of notes I took…with my multicolor pen.)
Right after R&J 1.0, Yuzu had the nerve to hit us with his new program, “いつか終わる 夢 [A Dream That Someday Will End]”…all while we were still trying to recover from the final look he gave the ice after R&J 1.0 (just found that note in blue). I think our souls were the tiny piece of ice he dropped at the beginning of “Dreamy Aspirations.” Thanks for picking us back up again, Yuzu…before completely leveling us again. I mean, I’m still crying about Yuzu in the center of the white ring at the end of this program…which is yet another program in the long line of “clutch your heart” Yuzu programs. If you think the show version is tragically beautiful….just imagine UA Yuzu practicing it alone in the middle of the night at Ice Rink Sendai. (I’m sorry. I should’ve kept that to myself to weep about.)
Sadly, we DID have to imagine a lot during this program, because we could only see teeny, tiny Yuzu from the third balcony during much of the broadcast. The few closeup shots (paired with what we already have permanently ingrained in our memories of Yuzu’s cool down routine) gave us just enough to fill in the blanks of what Yuzu was doing amongst all the imagery swirling around him. Though we may not have seen it up close, we knew Yuzu was emoting his ass off. And in Hachinohe, I hope we can actually see it. (The emoting, not the – you know what I mean.) I imagine a pre-show conversation with the Fanyus going something like this:
“We are going to bring in an amazing designer from the Rio Olympics -” Great. WE WANT TO SEE YUZU.
“And there’s going to be beautiful projections on the ice -” Great. WE WANT TO SEE YUZU.
“And it’s going to be unlike anything you’ve ever –” Great. WE WANT TO SEE YUZU YUZU YUZUUUUUUUUUU!
I want to see the choreography HE DID HIMSELF.
I want to see him when he dips his head and turns during 春よ、来い [Haru yo koi].
I want to see Yuzu FEEL.
I know I’m not alone. Not wanting to hurt Yuzu’s feelings about the image mapping gift he gave us, I held off on commenting about the lack of close-up Yuzuness we saw in some of his most iconic programs. But it wasn’t long before I saw (as usual) my fellow Fanyus were having the same thought. They started as off hand comments but graduated to tweets proclaiming “THERE SHOULD BE UNLIMITED CAMERAS FROM EVERY DIRECTION FOCUSED SOLELY ON YUZU.” (I love when the tweets start coming in all caps. It adds to the level of desperation.) In typical inventive and resourceful Fanyu fashion, Fanyus started taking footage from the Prologue broadcast and splicing in close ups from news coverage to assemble the most complete Yuzu-focused version of Yuzu’s new program. They gathered them like McDonald’s Monopoly board pieces. “I still need 1:43 through 1:49 to complete the set!” And you win way more than a lifetime supply of French fries. Then again, I’m not sure we could have handled “いつか終わる 夢 [A Dream That Someday Will End]” from up close. I think it had to be given to us in small doses or our hearts would’ve fractured into a million pieces…instead of the clean break into two. But we’re prepared now, Yuzu. We can take it in all its close up beauty. At least, we think we can. So please give us Boardwalk in Hachinohe.
I knew Prologue was going to be one epic ride, but I don’t think I had prepared for NONSTOP YUZU. I think I should’ve been training for this. For one thing, you cannot eat anything while watching Yuzu – especially if it can melt – for multiple reasons. Back in the days of Fantasy on Ice, you had roughly 2.5 hours to snack during the other [fill in whatever kind word you want to use to describe the other skaters, because none of the ones I could think of were particularly kind…]. Remember when we would watch a three hour ice show for a combined 8 minutes of Yuzu? Remember when the camera would cut away to a Non-Yuzu? But now, we can all just pile into Yuzu’s house. And he has the best furniture and plays the best music and has the best snacks. (By the way, I can’t believe they didn’t sell gyoza and hot chocolate at the Pia Arena concession stand.)
Yuzu has created a space just for the Fanyus.
As with SharePractice, the next day, all I wanted to do was get back to spending time with Yuzu. You don’t feel like you are going to watch TV or a movie or even an ice show. You are going to a place to spend time with Yuzu. When the workday is over and you sit down on your couch, the thought is “I want to go be with Yuzu.” (Well, that’s ALWAYS the thought but you know what I mean…)
With Prologue, Yuzu has created a portal that transports us to him no matter where we are in the world. And while we are there with him, nothing else in the world matters.
There were many times during Prologue when I thought the audience could’ve left and been happy. After SEIMEI, after Change, after Yuzu tried to find the camera for the live viewing theatres… Heck. I could’ve just heard him say “グリーンですね [It’s green; isn’t it?]” and left happy.
But here’s the most important thing:
YUZU. IS. HAPPY.
The cycle has been broken, Yuzu! No more skating and then getting kicked in the teeth by idiotic, biased, blind, underhanded judges. Now it’s: you skate, we love you, you skate, we love you, you skate, we love you EVEN MORE. That’s how it always should’ve been. Not: you skate, we love you, you get mistreated, we try to convince you we still love you, you have to do it all over again. The day after the show, I couldn’t help but wonder if every other Fanyu was feeling like I was: Happier because I just felt like Yuzu must be happy too.
In fact, at the very end of the show, after Yuzu’s signature shout of “ありがとうございました [thank you]!”, he gave a final look to the arena full of blue, glowing, overflowing Fanyu hearts. I’m sure there were a million different thoughts going through his mind:
“I can’t believe they turned all the bangle lights blue.”
“I hope I sold out the black shirt.”
“Next time I’ll just keep the microphone with me.”
But, most of all, I would like to think that twinkle in his eye was because he thought,
“I think this whole ‘professional’ thing is gonna work out.”
This blog post is featured in Season 2: Episode 2 of The FanyuFanme Podcast – PORTAL TO YUZU. Listen now on Spotify, YouTube or find it on your favorite podcast platform.
Comments