Yuzuru Hanyu is My Emergency Contact

More things I wonder about Yuzu…

Does Yuzu have a junk drawer?

My favorite part of this thought is that we Fanyus would probably sell out each and every item in the drawer.  

“I can’t find the ⅞ blue rubber band! Can someone share a link?” 

“They’re already out of the keychain flashlight. Weeping!”

“Has anyone found that short black cable yet? And do we know what it goes to? Who cares? I have to have the same one as Yuzu!”

Then again, it could just be a drawer full of Small Medal Ceremony medals, Citizen watches, a kendama, a random draw tile kept by mistake and a battery.

Is Yuzu a good cook?

We’ve seen his skills demonstrated in hot chocolate, cookie decorating and chocolate tempering, but what about making his beloved gyoza? Or onigiri? Or spaghetti? Let’s all think about that for a minute. Because who DOESN’T want to imagine Yuzu in the kitchen? I even have a few photos from Yuzu’s P&G Dishwashing liquid CM and Ghana Hot Chocolate CM framed and on the back ledge of my kitchen counter. You know, like you do. During the pandemic, I had virtually no one else in my apartment, so it was nice to have Yuzu hang out with me in the kitchen…and the living room…and the dining room… The other day, a maintenance worker came into my apartment and it wasn’t until he left that I realized he was probably baffled by those photos. He probably thought, ‘I’m not sure why she’s displaying photos of her boyfriend doing a hot chocolate demonstration at a grocery store, but to each their own.’ At the very least, Yuzu and I got a good laugh out of it. You know, I bet when he was 小さい [small] Yuzu, he would ask his mom if he could lick the spoon after she made scrambled eggs.

Did Yuzu practice “SEIMEI” in his pajamas in his bedroom?

I have zero doubt that the answer to this question is YES, but I thought I would just give us all THAT mental image. You’re welcome.

Where does Yuzu keep all his awards?

I truly don’t believe they are living in the aforementioned junk drawer. Especially with how much care and appreciation Yuzu shows toward every single item he has ever been handed. You would think after all the years of Yuzu being presented things, awarded things, gifted things, having things hurled in his general direction and bouncing off of him (albeit from a place of love), that he would start to grow tired of accepting things. But no matter what (unless of course it’s a birthday cake from the ISU presented at the worst possible moment) Yuzu continues to receive, appreciate and cherish. At the most recent Japan Nationals, there was a video of Yuzu being asked to do a pose from Ten to Chi to for the camera. I love this video for two reasons:

First, it is another demonstration of the look of skepticism bordering on terror that Yuzu gets on his face when a request starts to be made of him. I think it started on the 2015 Asaichi talk show when the host started a request by saying the viewers wanted to see Yuzu’s long arms and legs. Yuzu’s look of “まじか [seriously?] What are they getting ready to ask me to do?” is forever burned into my mind. The fear had no hope of being veiled…and it is slapdown hilarious.

Second, after demonstrating the requested pose, Yuzu looks a little lost as to what he should do next. He starts to walk out of the shot, but then decides to show off the certificate he was awarded like it was a prize he won in his third grade spelling bee. The best part is – you can tell he is genuinely proud that he got it. No matter what it is – a crystal trophy, a stuffed animal, an olive leaf crown (well maybe he finds those a little embarrassing) Yuzu is proud HE is the winner and they gave him something for it. Anyone else doing this would seem greedy, but with Yuzu it is an innocent joy of achievement…and the relief that he finally spelled a word right for the judges who have clearly never even opened a dictionary.

Does Yuzu have a spreadsheet of where all his costumes are at the current moment?  

Because I’m starting to think it’s a miracle Yuzu has any clothes to wear anywhere. With all of the various exhibits of his costumes and skates and gloves, it’s like his closet exploded and landed in glass boxes. Even his HOODIE is on display. Yes folks, that article of clothing most of us only throw on to go buy milk has its own display card for Yuzu. If he ever forgets what all these loaned out items look like, he can simply buy a Kewpie doll likeness of himself wearing it as a reminder. It gives the “Mom? Where’s my–” question a completely different spin. I doubt most mothers respond with “It’s on display in a museum.” Of course, if he asks where his right “SEIMEI” glove is…THAT is a whole other saga unto itself…

Speaking of gloves…

How many pairs of “We Love Irene” gloves does Yuzu have?

I wonder if they are like baseballs at the World Series–every time one gets used or scuffed it gets replaced with a new one. Not that Yuzu would waste them, but I somehow imagine a shipment of them just arriving at his door, like auto-delivery from a home shopping network. And what does he do with the ones he replaces? Now there is an auction idea that could probably fund the entire reconstruction from the Great East Japan Earthquake. Rebuilding Sendai – one glove at a time.

What did Yuzu think the first time he tried on his UA training outfit?

How could he have possibly known when he first pulled on that black shirt with the exacting seam of white that it was going to become such an iconic part of his legend? Did he order it online? Did he buy it in a store? Did his mom pick it up for him out of last minute necessity? Did he think to himself, ‘Well, this will do for now until I find something better.‘ Yuzu. For the record. There will never be anything better. Though the Beijing Under Armour White Stripe 2.0 was definitely a worthy evolution. In fact, VERY worthy. I’m going to need to see more of that one, Yuzu. Because as much as I love Yuzu’s costumes (yes, including Rondo) nothing compares to Yuzu in the UA training outfit. I was explaining to my best friend, Cactus, how difficult it is when I’m trying to locate one specific Yuzu photo out of a folder of 5,000. He told me I need to categorize them better. “Like by costume!” he explained. He pointed to the TV the moment a photo of Yuzu in the UA outfit came up. “Put all the photos you have of him in that costume in one folder.” I told him that was a great idea…since I only have about 3,853 photos of Yuzu in that exact outfit.  

And I cherish each of them as much as Yuzu cherishes his spelling bee certificates.

Did you miss FanyuFanme’s first set of Yuzu Wonderings? Click HERE to read the post that started us down this path…