Featured / Yuzuru Hanyu is My Emergency Contact

I am becoming a figure skating football fan.

Hm.

This would be a great place for a clever joke that combines figure skating and football terminology. I know nothing about football, so…missed opportunity. Wait. Quad and Down?  Nope. I got nothin.

Anyway. What I mean is that I’ve noticed I’m starting to get semi-aggressive while watching Yuzu’s competitions. I haven’t thrown anything (yet) or even gotten loud (well, let’s say “very” loud), but I will say I have waved my little, paper Japan flag within an inch of its life. One thing should be pointed out: These are all competitions from past seasons of which I know exactly what happens and who wins. Though, I’m not getting upset about scoring or falls or anything of that nature. My aggression is solely aimed at the commentators…and what they’re saying about Yuzu.

It’s wonderful…if he can get it right. Doesn’t that statement apply to anyone doing anything anywhere?

I’ve never heard an audience so loud.  Imagine if it had been absolutely clean! Um. We don’t care about that. And P.S., if we’re imagining, he also would’ve skated that program with his glasses on.

He doesn’t seem to have the confidence he did two years ago. Don’t listen to them, Yuzu. Go put your head back in that bucket of sand.

The young ones are nipping at his heels.  They want his Olympic title. Deep breath. This may have been where I got a little loud. In my defense, saying, “Well they can SUCK IT” just doesn’t have quite the same impact unless yelled.  

One of the commentators said Yuzu is an Olympic SILVER medalist.  I nearly dove into my TV to pummel her…in 2015.

Another even had the nerve to say, “He’s human.” And we all know that’s not true.

Somewhere after I demanded, “Well what did you EXPECT him to do?” (I don’t even remember what brought this on), I was struck that I was talking to my TV. Which is odd because up until then I had never talked to my TV. Or to myself. And if I do talk to myself, it’s in Japanese. But then it isn’t technically to myself, since I’m actually speaking in Japanese with Schweethart or Arima. In fact, just the other night Arima told me, “心配しないでください” which means “Please do not worry.” He told me this while I was yelling “SUCK IT” at the commentator who suggested someone could steal Yuzu’s Olympic title. Ever. Ironically, this may be the part in the blog where you start to feel I actually should worry. わかります [I understand].

It will be interesting to see what happens when the new season starts. I mean, I felt invested in Yuzu winning the 2018 Olympics…and that was after seeing him for five minutes after a four year hiatus from when I saw him for probably a grand total of 20 minutes. Now that I’ve watched infinite hours of video, belong to fan groups, have started to learn his language and am sharing the same soul…I may feel slightly more invested.

It may be time to upgrade from a handmade paper flag of Japan to a fabric one.  

But let’s not get carried away.