Unfiltered Yuzu
It all started with “I look at you too.” At the time it was uttered during Continues with Wings in 2018, it seemed like an impossibility. The gap between Yuzu and the Fanyus felt vast, and even with cleverly created GIFs of this earth-shattering proclamation from a playful Yuzu with a knowing smile, we still felt very…separate. But now, that separation doesn’t feel so vast and, now, we know he REALLY DOES look at us too.
We have been given the privilege of experiencing Yuzu’s evolution in sport, in art and – over almost two years of his YouTube channel – in candidness. Yuzu’s first YouTube video lasted only 1 minute and 11 seconds. And how did it start? With an introduction. (I will never get over Yuzu telling us who he is at the beginning of his videos.)
2 days after he “introduced” himself to us – はじめまして [nice to meet you], Yuzu – we had our first ever conversation with him. Sure, there had been interviews and messages to fans and press conferences (sometimes even in English – and not just English – brilliant, FLUENT English, Yuzu…) but nothing compared to having Yuzu look us right in the (camera) eye from his beloved ice rink home and tell us about his newest creation – his YouTune Channel.
So many times I had thought, “I would love to sit down and talk with Yuzu.”
This was finally that conversation, because I never would have wanted to say anything back anyway. I would’ve just wanted to sit and listen to him talk…and talk…and talk…especially when he takes a moment to talk to himself while talking to us.
But these one on 800,000 conversations aren’t the only thing we received with the creation of Yuzu’s YouTube Channel. We also received “Aw Shucks Yuzu.”
Sibling to Yuzuru Vague-yu, “Aw Shucks Yuzu” is as powerful as “Gate of Living” Yuzu. (Yes, I said it.) In the competition era, Yuzu could rationalize away that not everyone was there only to see him. Interest in the sport, other skaters, buying nachos…all valid (mostly) reasons to be in the arena. But it’s obvious now. We are only there for you, Yuzu. You can’t rationalize it away. And neither can the Fanyus trying to get in to see you. We were all trying to get into Prologue and GIFT and RE_PRAY only for you, Yuzu. I don’t even think they were selling nachos.
We already couldn’t handle fragile, bashful Yuzu. And now that he’s filming himself in this state, it’s just getting worse. He acts as though he is so unworthy of our love, and yet he’s the most worthy human in the history of humanness. And we’re all trying to convince him of that – one thumbs up and comment at a time. You can tell Yuzu feels our presence in those brief moments when he makes direct eye contact with the camera and then shyly glances away.
Yes, Yuzu. We see you too.
But despite any inner shyness, I think Yuzu could probably talk to us much longer if he allowed himself the time. And he’s proven this as that 1 minute and 11 second video has extended and extended…to the point of him apologizing that he is talking to us for too long. There’s nowhere else we’d rather be, Yuzu. We’ll happily call into work “Hanyued.” Lift your head off the table. We’ll never tell you your press conference time is up.
Yuzu could choose to do anything on his YouTube channel – promote his sponsors, play video games, cook gyoza, repair his skates (Screwdriver-Using Yuzu for the WIN), show us his favorite earphones…but instead, he chooses to talk to us.
After all these years, it’s like we finally got our international calling plan to work.
He can pick up his non-phone and call us whenever he wants. I wonder what he would’ve said to us after the 2014 Cup of China, 2019 Autumn Classic, 2021 Worlds or 2022 Olympics. I’m sorry we weren’t able to be on speed dial for those, Yuzu. But I’m sure you still knew we were with you – no matter what you could safely say to us at the time.
Here’s the really great part, Fanyus. Yuzu is such an eloquent speaker. He never uses note cards. He just picks up a microphone – be it at a press conference, an interview or spread eagling on the ice in front of 35,000 people in the Tokyo Dome. He is always confident, professional, clear (when he isn’t being purposefully Vague-yu) and profound. But when he addresses JUST US is when he appears the most vulnerable. And I think – I think – this is a testament to how much he knows we love him – unconditionally.
What an incredible gift to finally be the only ones in the room, having an open conversation with Yuzu.
And that’s because WE ARE SAFE. We are the test audience. The friends who will be honest but with love. Yuzu is asking, “How do they respond? Do they like it?” as he guides us down a path which we never want to end. What a precious experience – being led by the hand by Yuzu. All the time, he simply is waiting for us to say to him, “Yes, Yuzu. We like it.” before he circles it in green with his multicolor pen and shares it with the world.
And now, we are seeing Yuzu the way Yuzu wants us to see Yuzu.
So many times over Yuzu’s career we have complained, “What was the editor thinking?!” We can’t think that now! Because that editor is Yuzu. There is no one sitting in front of that laptop but him. I like to imagine him thinking, ‘I wonder if it would be okay to ask Yuzu to do another take of that…’ He determines if he wants us to see it from the top, the side, or with ice sprayed in our faces. I love that he wants us to see THE FOOT STOMPS, the skip skips, the hand in front of the camera. Why? Because he knows we will love that hand. もちろん。[Of course.]
If he wanted to edit something out, he’d edit it out.
Does he want to re-record the clip so he says “month” instead of “year”? Guess not.
Does he want to edit out the off camera giggle before the message starts? Guess not.
Does he want to correct that subtitle? Guess not.
And do we want him to? HECK NO! Best of all? Clearly we have shown him that HE DOESN’T NEED TO.
He can allow us to hear the sigh of utter exhaustion, see the stretching as he keeps the wings in check… We even get to hear the tennis shoes squeak. And it’s because Yuzu has invited us in – into the room, into the process. And he is allowing us to stand closer by his side than ever.
We Fanyus love to celebrate milestones, anniversaries, accomplishments, the selling out of DVDs, magazines, Gucci jackets and ear cuffs. But is there anything worth celebrating more than bringing comfort to Yuzu? おめでとう [congratulations], Fanyus. We have finally given Yuzu what he has deserved for over a decade – a place to feel safe and valued and loved. He even trusts us to translate him. So he can be free to be Yuzu – unaffected, unswayed, unfiltered. And now, thanks to our unwavering support and protection of him, we can add to that list…
Unafraid.
