[This post intentionally left untitled.]
There has been a lot of speculation over what this blog will be titled. [Spoiler Alert: It becomes “Yuzuru Hanyu is My Emergency Contact.”] Not as much speculation as to whether or not Yuzu will comb his hair to the side for the next (2018-2019) season (check out those odds in Vegas), but speculation nonetheless. [Another Spoiler Alert: HE DID!]
The working title was 想像上の真実 [Souzoujyounoshinjitsu]. To which Cactus replied, “Don’t name it that.” He grows more and more adamant that I name it anything (anything) else. We haven’t quite reached foot stomping in the kitchen determination as we have with other things in this blog (the phrase, “I will die on this hill for that!” has actually been uttered) but still passionate. It’s gotten to the point where now I just tell him that’s the title to watch him bristle. “You cannot name it that!” So what does 想像上の真実 even mean? Well, according to Google Translate, it means IMAGINARY TRUTH. “Then name it THAT!” comes the plaintive cry of Cactus from the kitchen. But I still prefer 想像上の真実. I like what it implies. I like that it is in Japanese (because, well, I think we’ve established I prefer Japanese…for my writing and my fantasies.) But, most of all, I like that it is possible it doesn’t even mean “imaginary truth” at all. For all I know, it could mean “sock grotto of meat.” And in that case, you’ve got the layers for Yuzu and the cartilage for Chansung. It’s a win-win. Cactus (as we’ve heard from the kitchen) prefers Imaginary Truth as the title. But sometimes Cactus doesn’t have the best memory. So one night, after I mentioned offhandedly for the fifteenth time that I was going to name the blog 想像上の真実, he argued, “Name it the English version of that. What was it? If It’s Not Real, Make It Up.” That has now become one of the front runners. We’ll call it the Cactus Translation.
My sister also has her own opinions. I’ve already explained that I refuse to name it Man Hwang Chansung, Will You Marry My Sister? Of course we’ve thrown out the obvious Blaze, but that sounds too much like the title of a Bobby Flay barbecue cookbook. One night, I told her it should be named, God Let’s Do It. She selflessly pointed out that then it only applied to her and Chansung. But with one quick edit, she managed to include me and Yuzu:
God Let’s Do It…In Two Separate Sleeping Bags
That one’s also still on the table…next to the hot chocolate.
Schweethart thinks it should be called A Girl and Her Monkey: The Real Love Story. Arima is voting for 有馬です [I am Arima]. Obi likes Obi-Wan: Episode BEST and Kaneki simply wants it titled 肉, which in Japanese can mean either “meat” or “flesh” depending on the situation. So far, Kaneki’s has the most votes given that he hit the trifecta of satisfying himself, my sister and Chansung all with one very vague, contextual-based Japanese word.
At this rate, the blog may remain untitled, because everyone has an opinion…except for my mom who would title it, Whatever You Want. Hey! That’s not half bad! And so much hidden meaning! Good one, お母さん [mom].
But as I investigated further into the translation of 想像上の真実, fickle Google Translate gave me my favorite yet. I think it sums it up best: Oh Yeah, That’s True.
Just like Yuzu, it’s currently in the lead.