Featured / Yuzuru Hanyu is My Emergency Contact

There’s a pileup on the Figure Skating Fan Freeway.

Before we send out the WYUZ News helicopter for an update, let’s read one important fact on the news ticker:

I am only here for Yuzu.  

I don’t really pay attention to the overarching Figure Skating Universe. Basically, I just know that there are three letters which should not be put together in order to oversee a sport fairly (but that’s another series of its own). I follow “non-Yuzu” figure skating 0%. I also try to take the high road and stay off the FS Fan Freeway as the tolls are way too high. But it seems like some kind of battle royale is going on across the way. Occasionally, someone will come over and fire a Nerf dart into the innocent bystanders and yell, “HEY! We’ve got a fan fight going on over here in that part of town you try to avoid!”

Sigh. So here we are. Aware that something ugly is going on thanks to the occasional “things are cray-cray over there” Twitter posts but still trying to pretend that we’re all above this. 

Yuzu is not a Fanyu. Well, he might be masquerading (see what I did there?) as one, but I think it’s a pretty safe bet that he’s not lurking on social media for the purpose of bullying or throwing hate at other skaters or their fans. While I love interacting with Fanyus all around the world and (clearly) am proud to call myself a Fanyu (despite how much some people might try to drag that term through the royale mud) I’m a fan of Yuzuru Hanyu. And he is where my focus lies…breathes and curls up in dark corners with certain ice show performances.

The #YuzuruHanyu Twitter feed tends to be a pretty peaceful, safe place for Yuzu love-gushing. We’re there for a reason: to love Yuzu. Most of us are perfectly happy staying in our # lane. But recently, it feels like a car of angry fans swerved into oncoming traffic. We’re heading East, you’re heading West. Now suddenly you’re coming at us head on. It’s just reckless for everyone.

What I don’t understand is why anyone wants to waste time fighting when we have YUZURU HANYU to focus on. [For those of you with other…preferences…insert name of your fantasy figure skater here]. Trying to keep things Bluebird (you’ll get that joke later). Wouldn’t it be more fun to focus on the skater you love and the other fans who feel the same as you?

Don’t go into the bakery you hate and just stand in the middle of it complaining about how much you hate it. Go buy a dozen doughnuts at the bakery you love and enjoy stuffing your face with your fellow bakery fans. 

It’s not as if there aren’t enough YouTube videos, photo galleries, Redbubble items (shameless plug!) or Instagram accounts to keep us busy. And aren’t they way more fun and fulfilling to look at than redacted Tweets and cryptic hate allusions? I sure think so.  

Since I haven’t been busy dragging my catapult to the battlefield, I’ve been spending my time productively by watching one of the 7.8 billion interviews Yuzu did immediately following his epic win in Pyeongchang. During one interview (the one that starts with Yuzu confirming that he does in fact think he’s かっこいい [cool] – you know the one), they show a gymnasium full of fans in Sendai watching “SEIMEI” (the Olympic performance that a “few” other people have watched a “few” [20 million] times on YouTube). They interview a couple of these fans who are (rightfully so) completely overcome with emotion at Yuzu’s victory. While talking to one particularly moved fan, they show Yuzu’s reaction to her joyful sobs of Yuzu Overwhelm. Despite not knowing this person (I would assume), the look on his face is so caring, kind and genuine. And all I could think is how lucky we are to have such a human to be a fan of. He’s not looking at her that way because she flung hate at the opposition. He’s looking at her that way because her “I Love Yuzu” heart is on her sleeve, lap and the shoes of the person sitting beside her. Be a Fanyu who deserves to have Yuzu look at you with that expression on his face.  

It’s obvious there isn’t a vicious bone in Yuzu’s body. Witty? Yes. Clever? Always. Sharp? Absolutely. Hateful? Never. He just wants people to be happy. He wants them to be paid attention to. He wants them to be applauded for. He wants them to be respected. He wants them to be able to get their skate guards on without falling over.

There was a brief Yuzu interlude when it looked as though while these cars from various fandoms were piling up on the FS Fan Freeway, Yuzu had gone out and done something really extreme: bought a bird.

And all the keep-the-peace Fanyus rejoiced. It looked as though Yuzu had thought to himself, ‘What can I possibly do to distract them? I know! I’ll go buy something that will blow up social media and stimulate the economy. My fans will drown out the hate with pictures of the bird, links to the cafe and drawings of me with a bluebird on my shoulder.’ Because what Fanyu’s heart didn’t melt at the thought of Yuzu buying a little clip-on bluebird in his beloved hometown of Sendai? It would’ve been a genius move of world peace.   

I mean, was I a little skeptical that Yuzu had thrown on a baseball cap and gone out for a little bird shopping during a pandemic? Well yeah. But it was a glorious few hours of suspended belief to imagine that our favorite social media lurker had commented without commenting about something happening on TWITTER by buying a BLUE BIRD. (If you don’t get it, just look at the Twitter icon while repeating “blue bird” over and over…you’ll come around eventually or at least your friends will have some laughs.) It would’ve been one of the most incredible moments in the history of pacifism. But then what color bird would he buy when hate blows up Instagram? I feared the fans would’ve ended up turning Yuzu’s room into an aviary by the time all was said and done. “行ってきます,お母さん! 鳥を買います [I’m leaving now, Mother! I will buy a bird!] People bein’ mean again.” (That last part is mostly subtext.)

Believe me, when that Nerf dart flies into my yard and alerts me that someone is being mean to Yuzu, I want to join the Fanyu swarm of killer — 可愛い [cute] — bees to protect him. But it comes down to this: The figure skaters we follow are people. Better yet, the people we follow are figure skaters. (Humans first.) They’re doing hard things during hard times. We’re all doing hard things during hard times. And as difficult as it is to believe sometimes, the fans are all humans too. I’m sure undeserved, ugly things were said. I’m sure probably deserved, ugly things were said too. But the point is to rise above the ugly. And there is no one better at not being ugly than Yuzu. 

Simply said: We don’t have to be friends. But we do have to be decent.

So you go do your thing and we’ll go do our thing (which happens to be much better than your thing) and we’ll all be fine.