THERE’S A GLOBAL PANDEMIC…and the ISU is giving awards to anyone but Yuzu.
Originally released in July of 2020 on the FanyuFanme Facebook Page, this special 5-part blog series was all about the ISU Figure Skating Awards. You can now read it in its entirety below!
Appreciate Yuzu. Be shocked by the injustice. Laugh at the absurdity. Look forward to what’s next. It’s a Biellmann spin of emotions…
As devastated as we all were by the cancellation of the 2020 World Championships in Montreal (seriously, it still hurts to even type it), there was a whisper of relief among the Fanyus that perhaps this cancellation also killed the bound-to-be-biased ISU Figure Skating Awards. For anyone who may not be aware, these were the self-proclaimed “NEW!”, “ASTONISHING!”, “DAZZLING!” (yes, those really are the words they used) awards the ISU dreamed up to replace the long-loved tradition of an Exhibition Gala following the competition. By all means, let’s bring in lame performances by completely NOT FIGURE SKATING RELATED performers to “entertain” the crowd of people who sold all their worldly belongings, got part-time jobs, shook down family members and sold plasma to be able to afford to buy a ticket to come see their favorite–oh wait–FIGURE SKATER!
And now that we’ve watched him compete and been on pins and needles for several days to see if he would be fairly judged, scored and appreciated for his otherworldly talent, we now get to AGAIN, sit on pins and needles and watch you judge him…for something he doesn’t even really get to fight for.
By all means, let’s force Yuzu to “compete” in something he has zero control over. That would be difficult for most anyone, but must be utter torture for someone like Yuzu. “Hey Yuzu! Let’s play Monopoly, but you don’t get to roll the dice, buy the properties, or pass go. がんばって! [Do your best!] We’ll let you know if you win…”
Even the nomination process has been shady, claiming that the nominees would be decided by “the media, public and ISU members.” One Twitter thread alone of Yuzu’s JSF Skate Forward Video (aka “Yuzu in a Box”) received more than 652,000 views. Newspapers reported that “Videos of Yuzuru Hanyu performing without his ice skates have generated more than one million combined views.”
A) More than ONE MILLION views.
B) Newspapers ran HEADLINES about it.
And now, the ISU is trying to tell us that Yuzu (the “I didn’t have on ice skates and newspapers reported about it” Yuzu) didn’t get enough votes to receive even a NOMINATION for “Most Entertaining Program”?
To be fair…
The award category is called “Most Entertaining Program.” Carnivals are entertaining. Game Shows are entertaining. Pony rides are entertaining. So I guess it makes sense. Now, had the category been called “Most Clutch Your Heart And Die From The Beauty Program”…Yuzu’s lack of nomination would really be an injustice. Don’t forget, Yuzu. What you’re doing on the ice is not the same thing everyone else is doing. They’re entertaining. You’re changing lives…one glorious hydroblade at a time.
[Tiny side bar: This rant was written prior to Yuzu’s “Let Me Entertain You” program. So I feel obligated to correct this to “You’re ENTERTAINING and changing lives…one heart clutchingly perfectly timed to the music triple axel at a time.” I gasped the first time I saw it. Did you? Yes, you did. I know you did. But back to the regularly scheduled rant against the ISU…]
Yuzu did get nominated for Best Costume. So, good job, Yuz. You wear clothes well. I think every Fanyu can safely say we’ve known THAT (without any help from the ISU) for an extremely long time. But I’ll still be furious if he doesn’t get the trophy for it.
But there’s nothing to be worried about; right? The final decision is going to be made by “a star-studded jury.” What? So six, random people are going to decide these awards? By the way, shouldn’t it be an odd number of judges? Just sayin. Then again, that leaves the ISU as the deciding vote, and, well, isn’t that convenient? I will admit that I was relieved to see they were actually associated with Figure Skating. At first, I figured it was going to go something like, “Well, sorry, Yuzu, even though Adam Levine preferred your skating, the clench vote was James Franco, and, don’t forget, he went to Yale…”
Which reminds me. I felt I needed to comment on the whole “Most Valuable Skater” Category–of which Yuzu managed to be nominated for. I’m going to be honest. When I looked back at the description of how this will be awarded (“Honors the Single Skater or Pair or Ice Dance Couple who best managed to increase the level of popularity of Figure Skating with their fan base, media attention and sponsor appreciation.”) I could only bust out laughing. There really is nothing more you can do. The description of the award and the fact that anyone other than Yuzu was even put up as a nominee says it all. ISU, if you mess this one up, on July 12th, you will hear from every single person in that fan base and you will see the real meaning of “level of popularity” for a Single Skater.
And don’t even get me started on how Pooh-san was overlooked for Best Coach…
I just hope that wherever Yuzu is, he doesn’t care. I mean, I really, really hope he doesn’t care. I wish I didn’t care. And I thought I would be able to not care…but then the ISU omitted Yuzu’s two-time Olympic Gold medal from his bio for the Most Valuable Skater Award…and his world records…and his studies at Waseda (yeah, ISU, Japan has prestigious schools TOO–where, might I add, they actually spell people’s names right)…and his unbelievable generosity and advocacy to rebuilding disaster stricken areas of Japan…and…and…AND!
What do you WANT from him? Really?
And why can’t anyone but his fans stick up for this continued injustice?
And if he’s so unwanted, send him my way. I will take him!
But God bless the Fanyus. We all say we don’t care. And we all don’t want to care. But we can’t help but care. That’s what makes Yuzu’s fans so special. There is So. Much. Care. So we will not be defeated! What do we do when the etching is on the ice that this “award” show isn’t really going to be very “awarding”? MAKE UP OUR OWN! That’s right, ISU. You may be getting ready to kick Yuzu in the teeth when we DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE HE IS, but the positive force that is The Fanyus will not pop its jump. We are creating our very own Yuzuru Hanyu Fan Awards. Some of the categories include Best Short Program Costume (enter the Purple Pants…), Best Fantasy on Ice Moment (a certain glove throw comes to mind…) and Best Olympic Performance (does the expression on his face when the Press Conference moderator said “And Yuzuru will respond in English” qualify?…). The Awards show Hostyus are busily compiling all the different award categories. I would like to see the following:
-Best Appearance in an Apron
-Most Precious Pronunciation of a Japanese Word I Don’t Know
-Best Reason to Wait in Line Outside an Ice Rink at 5 AM
-Most Outstanding Performance by A Cowlick
-Best Dramatic Hand Gesture in a Short Film
-Most Uses of the Word 悔しい [Kuyashii/Frustrated] in a Single Post-Skate Interview
-Lifetime Achievement Award for Best Practice Outfit
-Most Likely to be PERFECT
I don’t know about you, but I’ll have my popcorn (and Ghana hot chocolate!) ready. I just hope Yuzu wins!
When all is said and done and “awarded”…we can all rest assured that one thing will remain: Yuzu. Time and time again, Yuzu has proven his amazingness extends far beyond the ice. Yes, Yuzu loves to win, but he is smart enough to know that these “awards”, ultimately decided by less than ten people, cannot accurately reflect his worth. (I mean, find a different group of six people and forget just winning Best Costume, he’d be made Prime Minister!) And it isn’t that Yuzu just keeps rolling over. He sees it. He knows what’s going on. I cannot wait to see how Yuzu responds, because I have no doubt that we will soon be given another Yuzuru Hanyu Master Class in Grace and Humility (and, if we’re really lucky, another cleverly placed comment about not being able to call yourself a true champion until you’ve won the Olympics. Because, you know, Yuzu’s polite–not a defenseless kitten.)
So am I mad at the ISU? Yes. Am I astonished that such blatant disrespect is allowed? Yes. Am I getting a T-shirt made that says “Screw I-S-U”. Possibly. But instead of hate and outrage and fury at the ISU, I would like to take a moment to thank them.
Thank you, ISU, for allowing us another glimpse of this two-time Olympic Gold medalist’s heart of gold.
Thank you, ISU, for demonstrating how a true champion behaves.
And, most importantly, thank you, ISU, for giving Yuzu another opportunity to rise above you.
This blog post is featured on the fourth BONUS episode of “Yuzuru Hanyu is My Emergency Contact” – The FanyuFanme Podcast.
Listen now on SPOTIFY or find it on THESE OTHER PLATFORMS.
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