羽生結弦: My Glass Bead
Author’s Note: This post was written three days prior to the 2019 Autumn Classic in Toronto. FanyuFanme hopes (wishes, prays…) to one day cross country borders to see Yuzu in person again.
I found a makeshift Japanese flag in my desk drawer.
This may seem insignificant to you, but to me, it was very moving. You see, this is the tiny flag I made out of copy paper and a red Sharpie in three minutes during the PyeongChang Olympics. Schweethart, my stuffed monkey horcrux, had been a stalwart, US flag-waving supporter of Shawn White for several Winter Olympics. In fact, he’d pretty much wave that flag for everything from the first BUMMMM BUMMMM BA BUM BUM BUM BUM all the way to the 4 AM human interest segment by “MARE” (his nickname for Olympic TV journalist Mary Carrillo.) But then, when “Yuzuru Hanyu has arrived in PyeongChang” happened, he decided he needed a temporary Japanese flag.
Right. “Temporary.”
So we made it work and borrowed his US flag stick for the short program that evening. I think we all know how that panned out. Sounds something like, “Shawn 白い [White] who?”
And now, I’m going to see Yuzu in three days. Only three more days. And, to quote CloneMe, I am “not prepared.” For the past week, I’ve sat on my couch watching my “Besturu of Yuzuru” playlist and cried. I’m overwhelmed. I’m not just seeing the Yuzuru Hanyu who won gold at the Olympics…twice. I’m seeing the Yuzu who skated Romeo and Juliet 1.0 so beautifully my heart exploded. I’m seeing the Yuzu who joked about the Winnie the Poohs going back to the fowest. The Yuzu who agonized over the creation of a terrarium and the Yuzu who I have watched make the same cup of hot chocolate 73,243 times.
But it goes deeper than a YouTube playlist. I’m also seeing the Yuzu who is the reason I discovered Tokyo Ghoul. The Yuzu who inspired me to learn Japanese. The Yuzu who has changed my life. He has become my constant companion. A calming force. Sure, he may not ACTUALLY live with me in the carry-some-Trader-Joe’s-bags-up-from-the-car kind of way, but his presence is there. And to think I’m going to be in the same room with this mythical person is a little more than I can handle.
Finding that flag was the discovery of an artifact. Like finding the first bowl created by the Mayans (though I don’t think the Mayans invented the bowl). The first computer programmed by Bill Gates. The first can of Pringles eaten by Chansung… It was the start of something very big. The night before, I had been up until 3 AM hand-beading a Yuzu sleeve on the banner I plan to take to the Autumn Classic. Hours of sketching, researching, cutting, measuring (enlisting my sister’s mad sewing skills cuz I gots none). And then, finally, the last few stages of adding gold and purple beads to the Origin arm (because even though you can’t really see the purple, every good Fanyu knows it’s THERE.)
3 AM and hand stitching my heart into a piece of canvas. That’s how far we’ve come.
You may have started as copy paper, Yuzu, but you’re my glass bead now.
I’ll see you in three days.
