I can’t keep up with Yuzu.
Author’s Note: Don’t be alarmed that this post does not talk about プロローグ. I needed a little more time to process…that…on my own. Don’t worry. It’s coming. Just like R&J – No. We aren’t talking about that yet.
I’m not going to lie. Over the past few months, there have been moments when I have actually said out loud “Just take a minute and SIT DOWN, Yuzu.”
Since Yuzu turned Pro, there has been so much content on social media that I have had to switch to scrolling through my phone with my left thumb because my right one keeps cramping up. The Yuzu Content Creators are feeling particularly overwhelmed by this Yuzulanche. Avazuru? (Neither of those work. I must be out of practice.) We used to get the occasional telegram from Yuzu: “Konnichiwa. STOP. Hanyu Yuzuru desu. STOP. I’m still the greatest desu. STOP. Bai-bai! STOP.” and then we’d spend the next several months divvying up that 9 seconds into multiple blog posts, fan arts, podcasts and butter sculptures. But now, we wake up to stacks and stacks of boxes delivered to our porches overnight – the delivery driver asking us to sign for Yuzuru Hanyu, Hanyu Yuzuru, Hanyu, Yuzu, Hanyu-senshu and all the goat emojis..including the ones that aren’t even goats but that people think look like goats on tiny phone screens by mistake as they TRY TO KEEP UP. The boxes are labeled Hanyu Yuzuru DESU…and DESU…and DESU…and DESU! And with every box I open, I think, “Well I can’t not comment on THAT.”
In fact, I feel I owe Yuzu an apology.
I used to comment on every single Yuzu second. The slightest hand gesture in a practice, a side glance while microwaving hot chocolate, the direction he combed his hair…but now…I simply can’t keep up. There are entire interviews I think I’ve missed. Translations I haven’t read. Photos I haven’t saved…well, maybe let’s not get carried away. But I personally don’t know how Yuzu is keeping up with himself.
At one point, while I was watching the Yuzu TV marathon which had been advertised on art-gallery-worthy Sendai Station pillars, I got on Twitter to see Yuzu appearing LIVE on a morning talk show. And I thought ‘Where the frick is Yuzu?! He should be home watching himself on Pillar TV!’ Here Yuzu was waxing poetic about litmus paper and I was like, “Yuzu! I’m still watching the special about your uncle photographers! 待って [wait]!”
This is starting to perpetuate my belief that there has to be more than one Yuzu. And again begs the question, “How can I get my own?” Does he cycle them out? I’d like to request the one that painstakingly wrote the kanji for “Evolution” while Hope & Legacy played in the background. Surely he’d be up for grabs once his ink ran out.
What’s even more astonishing is that Yuzu is supposedly doing all of this with NO. PHONE.
When Yuzu made this statement during one of his 719 interviews on 7/19, my brain exploded. But perhaps not for the reasons you may think. Most of all, I am astonished, disappointed and downright betrayed that the interviewer failed to FOLLOW UP on this epiphanical (see, he still has me making up words) statement of Yuzu statements. When he says he is no longer going to be a competitive skater and will stop competing, the interviewers fall over themselves to follow up with “So does this mean you won’t compete?” But then, when he dropped an epic nugget of personal logistics, the interviewer just MOVED. ON. How could you not at least attempt to get him to expound on this with any word taught in Journalism 101? For example, HOW. Or, WHY. But most obviously, WHAT-THE. For someone who is in such demand to be in so many places, surely there’s the potential to LOSE YUZU!
“Didn’t he get off the elevator?”
“No. Can you try calling him?”
“Welllllll…”
On the other hand, this is just yet another Yuzu phenomenon. Perhaps this explains the look he had on his face before all his Sendai talk shows appearances. I could watch the dedicated Yuzu camera of this all day: Yuzu – in a suit – looking at his surroundings with an innocent look of blissful removal from common humanity. He isn’t checking his phone. He isn’t looking stressed. He’s simply existing as Yuzuru Hanyu and letting us all blissfully join him…until we have to get in line to pre-order our AERA magazines…because we gotta KEEP UP!
By the time he announced he was working on a new program, I had to put on my own Sleep Clinic hoodie and take a nap. Do we even still remember the Sleep Clinic hoodie? Tell me we remember the Sleep Clinic hoodie.
With every passing day, my narrative remained, “Can’t keep up. Can’t keep up. Look at how his foot is perfectly pointed in that photogra- CAN’T KEEP UP!” When Yuzu’s one-man ice show was announced, a new photo of Yuzu was posted on the website. And I found myself wondering, ‘Did we even notice?!’ In the days of 9-second Yuzu, we would’ve talked about that photo for WEEKS. I even started to question if I had followed all his official accounts. I might’ve been doing that when Yuzu came and grabbed my hand and pulled me into another room. “But Yuzu! I haven’t even clicked the notifications bell on your Twitter account yet! I can’t come read the rocket science ticket lottery instructions for your ice shows!…ooo look at that hoodie….”
The Yuzu Overwhelm finally got to me one night as I was sitting in a hotel room in Prague. (Random but true.) I got a Twitter notification from YUZURUOfficial_. I was mortified to hear the words, “Now what, Yuzu?” come out of my mouth. And my entire Fanyu life flashed before my eyes. WHO AM I?!
And then I took a break from Yuzu…to watch Yuzu.
And he reminded me there is a person inside of this new Yuzu machine. There is a person behind every Tweet, every Insta post, every YouTube membership and every Google Form. And it has always been this person that really matters. And this person is our person. And he’s why I care so much.
FanyuFanme has always and only been about Yuzu being Yuzu – not about Yuzu’s staff speaking on behalf of Yuzu. I don’t have a T-shirt that says “Yuzu’s Staff is Yuzu’s Staff.” Of course (of course) I am incredibly thankful to these people who are working tirelessly to help Yuzu’s dreams come true…and possibly give him a few hours of sleep in his Sleep Clinic Hoodie (remember it now?). But I finally had to give myself permission to occasionally miss pieces of the machine, while knowing it doesn’t change how I feel about the person at its core.
Let’s be honest. Whether you click the first tweet or the 351st retweet, Yuzu will still look sexy in that black silk shirt in the Sekkisei ad…or the hard hat in the hard hat ad (that was what was being advertised; right?). What’s important is that we remember why we’re here to begin with. Because we love Yuzu. And because Yuzu invited us on this journey with him – this journey he promised us on 7/19. And as long as our hearts stay with Yuzu, we’ll always be able to keep up with what – I mean WHO – matters.
So while it may not always be the fastest, and I might occasionally miss a few (unless it’s a photo!)…
I’ll keep clicking hearts for Yuzu, because of the way he clicks mine.
This blog post is featured in Season 2: Episode 1 of The FanyuFanme Podcast – THE YUZU KETCHUP EPISODE. Listen now on Spotify, YouTube or find it on your favorite podcast platform.
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