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Yuzuru Hanyu is My Emergency Contact

A Blog By A Fanyu With A VERY Active Imagination

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Yuzuru Hanyu is My Emergency Contact

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  • Home
  • About This Blog
  • About The Author
  • Past Posts Archive
  • FanyuFanme Gallery
  • Yuzuru Hanyu is My Emergency Contact – The FanyuFanme Podcast
  • Bonus Series: There’s a Global Pandemic…

Category: Featured

Arima’s arm fell off.

Arima’s arm fell off.

I don’t know who was more mortified–me or him.   Similar to the time they rushed Yuzu into the underbelly of the rink […]

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  • July 3, 2020
  • 3 min
I wonder how many hours you can watch one person before some type of common law marriage goes into effect…

I wonder how many hours you can watch one person before some type of common law marriage goes into effect…

Because I would say in the past six months I have heard Yuzuru Hanyu’s voice more than most people have heard their […]

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  • June 26, 2020
  • 5 min
I am becoming a figure skating football fan.

I am becoming a figure skating football fan.

Hm. This would be a great place for a clever joke that combines figure skating and football terminology. I know nothing about football, […]

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  • June 19, 2020
  • 4 min
There is a pair of black gloves in my closet.

There is a pair of black gloves in my closet.

The first time I noticed them folded neatly on top of each other on the shelf, I nearly stumbled backward out of […]

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  • June 5, 2020
  • 6 min
Which. Fanyu. Is he?

Which. Fanyu. Is he?

Author’s Note: This was written in the summer of 2018; therefore, the timeline and duration of “Yuzuru Hanyu Radio Silence” does not align […]

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  • May 29, 2020
  • 10 min
My sister has told all her friends about Chansung.

My sister has told all her friends about Chansung.

She’s also told all her co-workers about Chansung. She told a Starbucks cup about Chansung. To which the cup replied, “I once had […]

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  • May 8, 2020
  • 6 min
Fanyus (much like HIPAA) are for REAL.

Fanyus (much like HIPAA) are for REAL.

Shortly after the Olympics ended, I started having Yuzuru Withdrawal. Okay, so maybe the withdrawal started the moment he stepped off the […]

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  • May 1, 2020
  • 10 min
If I could have any super hero ability, I’d want the ability of half-assness.

If I could have any super hero ability, I’d want the ability of half-assness.

My life would be so much easier. As it currently stands, everything I do is a challenge to achieve at the level […]

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  • April 24, 2020
  • 7 min
I should write a screenplay: Must Love Stuffed Animals.

I should write a screenplay: Must Love Stuffed Animals.

This is because I have a horcrux. It’s true. Except mine isn’t in the form of a locket or a sword. Mine is […]

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  • April 3, 2020
  • 9 min
My mom says real people can be amazing too.

My mom says real people can be amazing too.

… Right, Mom. They’ve been reeeaaal amazing so far. There’s a reason my sister’s last three boyfriends she’s never met have been a […]

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  • March 17, 2020
  • 13 min

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ALL Past Posts!

The Answer is Still Gyoza.
This Blue Marble
Can I Still Love Yuzu?
Pretty Face Yuzu
Gacha Yuzu
Portal to Yuzu. (AKA “My Prologue Thesis”)
I can’t keep up with Yuzu.
Even Yuzu didn’t cry.
Yuzu’s eyes heal our hearts…in six seconds.
Yuzu is winning ice shows.
I hope Yuzu shops at the 24/7 FanyuMart.
Missing Yuzu.
Two degrees from Yuzu.
Love to Yuzu. Love to Japan.
But then, Yuzu said, “ちょっと待って…”
I wish someone would ask Yuzu about the Quad Axel.
I’m sending Yuzu a card for Boss’s Day.
There’s a pileup on the Figure Skating Fan Freeway.

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This is a work of fiction.  While some portions are based on true events, certain names have been changed and some characters, incidents, timelines, locations, dialogues and events have been fictionalized or are the product of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

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