Featured / Yuzuru Hanyu is My Emergency Contact

But then, Yuzu said, “ちょっと待って…”

Immediately following the Free Skate at the 2022 Beijing Winter Olympics, the Fanyus entered an emotional state that I’m not sure existed before:

Hanyupathy [hahn-yoo-puh-thee] noun : the act of feeling every emotion upon the sight of Yuzuru Hanyu. 

Happy? We cried. Sad? We cried. Proud? We cried.

I saw Yuzu’s eyes light up as he said “やっと” [at last] when they told him about his certified quad axel: I cried from happiness.

I watched Yuzu crying while talking to Shuzo-san: I cried from heartbreak.

I read a Washington Post article with an animated, faceless figure skater jumping the Quad Axel: I cried from pride. (It’s a good thing that little figure skater didn’t have wispy black hair and gloves or I’d still be crying.)

It’s just what we did, because we really didn’t know what to feel. So we felt it all. All. The. Time. 

I watched video after video (old and new). I couldn’t stop crying. But not because I was sad. Because I was JUST. SO. PROUD. Of this human. Of whom I’ve never met, yet am quite certain I will love greater than any human I ever will meet.  

But while we cried for any and all reasons – I even cried at the picture of the virtually empty press conference room for the medalists (despite also feeling a whisper of sweet vindictive glee) – Yuzu sacrificed so much to continue to skate for us…to make us happy. While I know he wants and appreciates our support, I couldn’t believe that he would’ve wanted us to be that unhappy (or whatever emotion it was at the moment clearing out our Pooh-san tissue cases) about anything that could be drawn back to him. Nothing that happened changed who Yuzu is for us, who Yuzu has been for us or who he will continue to be for us. He does not skate for our sadness for him or our anger at the injustices, but “for someone’s happiness” – our happiness…and allowing anyone to take that away was simply awarding ANOTHER unearned victory.

I wish the world (especially America) had given people the chance to see more of Yuzu’s beautiful soul. Before the Olympics started, I was so excited that all the people who had ever asked me about Yuzu with an undercurrent of “You have a blog about WHO?” were finally going to see him skate, see him interviewed, see him acknowledged for the superhuman – beautiful human he is. But it seemed that at every turn (and commercial break) Yuzu was hidden, written off, underappreciated. No profile aired about him. No previous footage. No special interview. No real explanation of the immense difficulty of what he was trying to achieve. Just a mention of “Oh yeah, he’s getting ready to try the hardest jump. Oh. He fell. He’s done.”

And it created a perception that couldn’t be any further from what Yuzu deserved. 

The day after the Free Skate, none of my friends even asked me about Yuzu…in a very obvious way. It was like they thought I should be ashamed or embarrassed that “my skater” didn’t win. And when they finally did bring him up, it was in such a pitiful way. “Aw. But he tried so hard.” Yuzu isn’t a 6 year old on a Little League team who ran to third base instead of first when he hit the ball. Did you see how beautiful that program was? Did you see what he did? Did you know how impossible that was? Did you know how historic that was? Of course not. Because the television told you it wasn’t important. 

Then, the television’s close friend, the internet, started being used by tiny minded people to try to tell the world that the Fanyus had been defeated. That we were devastated. But that’s what they couldn’t seem to wrap their tiny minds around. Yuzu could get 54th place and still be who he is…which is FRICKIN YUZURU HANYU. His fandom won’t disperse. Maybe others are that petty, but true Fanyus (the Truyus?) are not. Nothing the haters say can ever ruin Yuzu for us. Nothing Yuzu does could ever ruin Yuzu for us. At the risk of saying this in every single blog post: YUZU IS YUZU.  

On top of everything they had done to Yuzu, did they honestly believe that by putting a piece of metal around someone else’s neck we were just all going to abandon Yuzu and flock to the winner? Fanyus are NON-TRANSFERABLE.

We’re not attracted to the shiny THING around the person’s neck. We’re attracted to the shiny PERSON.

Yet I didn’t even feel like I was watching the Olympics. It was like I was watching Yuzu suffer in a personal hell for a few days. And I bet he felt that way too. He was shipped off and LITERALLY put in a hole to be judged and disrespected without joyful anticipation or encouragement. The reported story? “He hasn’t done it. He still can’t do it. He didn’t do it. He’ll never do it.” And don’t even get me started on all the other assorted varieties of nonsense he was faced with in addition to managing an injury he felt pressured to conceal. One of the saddest Yuzu moments also became one of my proudest Yuzu moments: when he admitted in an interview that he did not enjoy this Olympics. The bravery it took to admit this is staggering. I love that Yuzu couldn’t be pressured into lying when asked point blank. Sadly, I imagine Yuzu probably feels guilty now about saying that. Please don’t, Yuzu. Being allowed to be honest was the least you deserved…

But what Yuzu really didn’t deserve was how so many people started treating him like an old man. (Yep, he went from little league player to senior citizen in a mere span of paragraphs). He’s not “Grandpa Hanyu.” I’m sure he didn’t even pack the Khaki Suit of Sin. He said himself that he came into these games in top condition. I don’t understand how hitting the world’s unluckiest hole in the ice and falling on the closest landing of the world’s hardest jump (on a badly injured ankle!) made so many people grab a cardigan and a cane and escort him to a rocker on Figure Skating’s Front Porch. He doesn’t need “This is Your Life” messages. (I know it was supposed to be an honor, but it just irritated me. I couldn’t help but find myself thinking, ‘None of you are worthy of talking about Yuzu.’ …says the girl with a blog and a podcast about him…) He doesn’t need participation trophies. He doesn’t need the throwing in of the Pooh-san towel.  

Yuzu is an athlete. Yuzu is a competitor. Yuzu is a fighter.  

Yet, while we waited to hear from Yuzu himself, Figure Skating proceeded to proclaim him as the past.  

But then, Yuzu said, “ちょっと待って…” [wait a minute].

When it was announced that Yuzu would give a press conference on February 14, we panicked. Yes, we did. If you say you didn’t (even a little) you’re lying. Was this going to be it? The announcement we’ve all feared for so long? (And, no, Reuters, it’s not an engagement announcement we fear. Seriously. We’re more worried about a separation than a union.) Despite all of my worries and speculation, there was one thought I simply couldn’t shake:

I refuse to believe that Yuzu will “break up” with the Fanyus on Valentine’s Day.  

There are some pretty glorious days in Fanyu history: Worlds 2012, Sochi 2014, Worlds 2017, PyeongChang 2018, the first day Yuzu combed his hair to the side and the first moment the lights came up on him for “Blinding Lights.” I could go on and on (and often do!). But I would like to officially welcome Valentine’s Day 2022 as the newest day of pure Fanyu joyous rapture.  

It was as if while we had all been drowning in our Hanyupathy, Yuzu had flipped open his laptop, grabbed some chocolate and started a list of all the things he could do to make US happy – as only Yuzu can.

-I’ll get back on the ice for a practice session…where I will throw my head back and laugh as often as possible.

-I’ll play video games…even obscure ones for the real Fanyu gamers.

-I’ll eat chocolate…I know they love the thought of that. I’ve seen the montages.

-I’ll eat hot ramen…because who doesn’t love a hot ramen guy? (That’s a joke just for me.)

-I’ll be as Yuzu as I can possibly be…I’ll even raise my hand at my own press conference.

And he wrapped all these things up in a Yuzu shaped box and delivered them to us on Valentine’s Day, waving and nodding and smiling all the way. It’s almost comical how well he knows us. I half expected him to add, “And I was wearing glasses while doing all those things in my hotel room.” Granted, I haven’t seen all the translations of his whirlwind media tour, so there’s still hope that quote will surface. He even FACETIMED us. 

But even better than the mental images of Yuzu relaxing in his hotel room playing video games, snacking, FaceTime calling us…and wearing his glasses, was what he shared with us in his press conference:

He’s not retiring.

He loves figure skating.

He’s not certain this is his last Olympics.

He’s proud of his Quad Axel.

He’s happy he’s Yuzuru Hanyu.

(And as much as I would’ve loved it if he really HAD said he was “King of the Olympics”…Nice try, Translator. I think we were all pretty certain that exact statement hadn’t come out of Yuzu the moment you relayed it.)

Speaking of relayed messages, I love that the JOC felt the need to release a statement that the press conference was not going to contain an announcement from Yuzu. Seems to me that not retiring, the possibility of another Olympics and us (hopefully) not losing Yuzu from our lives for another four years was the BIGGEST announcement he could’ve made. Oh, JOC, you have once again shown how little you know us.   

Because this was EXACTLY what we were hoping for: Yuzu handing the cardigan back to all the naysayers, the haters and the world and reminding them what the Fanyus have always known:

Yuzuru Hanyu IS STILL the greatest; not WAS the greatest.  

This is not the moment to reminisce.  

This is the moment to wait patiently for what is NEXT.