Applauding for Yuzu in the Dark
Anticipation. It comes with the unknown. It comes in the dark. And, during Fantasy on Ice, it comes while waiting for Yuzu.
It doesn’t matter if it’s the first night in the first city when we have no idea what Yuzu will reveal (including a scar) or the last night in the last city when we’ve seen all the photos, news clips and Fanyu sketches. Just knowing it’s Yuzu and we are going to see him, brings about spontaneous applause, all before the lights even come up.
That’s right. We are applauding for Yuzu…in the dark. Because we know we have entered “that” part of the show. “That” part where we are reminded why we sat on our couches from 1 to 3:30 AM for a cumulative 29 minutes of Yuzu (and that includes spotting him during the “wave-bow-wave-bow-wave-wave-wave-high five” portion of the show – which accounts for approximately 35.4 hours). But every minute is worth it. Even the ones in the dark. Because Yuzu makes sure of it. After all…
Yuzu is Yuzu.
(By the way, Sponichi-san, I’ve been saying “Yuzu は Yuzu” for years – and as recently as the day before your FaOI front page came out – so, I see you…)
Some people need to wear something fantastic, do something fantastic, say something fantastic to be applauded. But not Yuzu (though he also does all those things.)
Yuzu receives applause for his mere presence.
Program before Yuzu ends? Applause.
Announcer says “最後の” [final]? Applause.
A Fanyu spots Yuzu entering? Applause.
Yuzu does a tiny hop in his pre-program preparation in the dark? Rapturous applause.
When the “Yuzu moments” come, we are no longer watching Fantasy on Ice – we are watching YUZU ON ICE – which surpasses every Fantasy. “Danny Boy” is one of those fantasies you watch, mesmerized, thinking, ‘I love him, I love him, I love him, I loooooooove him.’ The endless Ina Bauer, the exhale of breath, the spin spin spins that were delivered with a note from “Megalovania” saying “どういたしまして。” [You’re welcome.] This program is extremely difficult, but Yuzu – as always – makes it look effortless.
In some ways, I think “Danny Boy” may be the closest we will ever come to seeing Yuzu relaxing. And the fact that he brings us into that peace with him makes it particularly special.
Then “Meteor” arrives in a blaze from the sky with the message, “You thought you had seen every light blue Yuzu costume variation possible? Guess again.” We are enchanted by Yuzu’s dedicated interpretation of an anime – and the endearing mental image of him painstakingly choreographing every meaningful gesture while studying an anime like it’s an anatomy textbook.
During the “in between” moments, I always wonder what Yuzu is doing backstage. Chatting with the other skaters? Playing a video game? Lying flat on the floor on a yoga mat? Those used to seem like good guesses, but now we know it’s more likely a ridiculous workout. Yuzu carrying some ridiculously heavy thing. Yuzu staying in some ridiculously challenging stance. Yuzu executing some ridiculously difficult jump from the seated position. Or some other ridiculously impossible thing only (ridiculously impossible) Yuzuru Hanyu would do. So when it comes to Yuzu Downtime Guesses, score 1 point for Workout Yuzu (which also scores as my new favorite Yuzu hair) and 0 points for Dr. Pepper.
But while Yuzu is doing who-knows-what impossible thing backstage, I do feel the need to point out that there are certain things you shouldn’t do if Yuzu is in the same building as you. Several other performers attempted dramatic arm reaches, and each time I thought, ‘I can’t believe you would try that knowing Yuzu is watching.’ The same goes for a knee slide, the Ina Bauer, any of the group choreography…but I’ll stop there. And anyway, Yuzu was probably too busy resistance-banding himself to a forklift to see that half-hearted arm reach anyway.
And this is the part where I find myself saying, “Careful. Don’t get too snarky about FaOI.” But surely deep down we all have moments during those “other” moments of FaOI when we laugh at the absurdity, cringe at the choreography or question what musical decade we are in. So how do you talk about FaOI politely? How do you talk about how incredible Yuzu is and how grateful you are for every second he saves you (see what I mean) from FaOI without speaking candidly? For me, a significant component of the entire FaOI experience is the satisfaction of surviving the 95% to be gloriously rewarded by THE 5%. So please forgive me whenever I speak candidly (but with love) about our loyal friend, FaOI.
For example, FaOI costumes come with a certain fear, anxiety and…expectation. But this year, when I saw photos of the Opening Costume, I was just plain offended. It was the same bad scarf material and the same sad mesh attempt to get Yuzu more naked. It wasn’t even UNIQUELY bad. ‘Come on, FaOI,’ I thought. ‘At least respect us enough to give us the opportunity to see Yuzu pull off something NEW and horrifying.’ But THEN, I saw the CLOSING costumes…and I knew I had been heard. ありがとう [thank you] Fantasy-san. But this continuation of the Yuzu Vest Saga raised a new question: How can you make something too small for Yuzuru Hanyu? Then again, who knows? Maybe Yuzu took it home, put on his blue laundry apron (one of my personal favorite Yuzu “costumes” ever) and shrunk it on purpose just to give us something to talk about. Sort of like why he turned one Wolfy backwards on the shelf.
He takes such good care of us.
I have to admit, when I heard that Yuzu was going to collaborate with Nishikawa for this year’s FaOI, I got really excited. While everyone else was hoping for some bondage-esque costume for Yuzu based on a music video I knew nothing about, I was hoping this collaboration with Nishikawa meant we would get to see Yuzu skating in the Gray Pajamas of Sin. (Turns out I had the wrong Nishikawa.) Remember this for the future, Yuzu. You can skate in whatever you’re most comfortable. Unless it’s a nude colored shirt. (Who am I kidding? You’d be able to pull that off too.)
Speaking of pulling off shirts, what do we need to do to get an Air Conditioning Sponsor for FaOI? That’s all I’ll say about that.
I’ve also discovered I have anxiety watching other skaters skate close to Yuzu. I found myself wondering if they should have signed some type of waiver. This is in no way a commentary on the ability of the other skaters. I just want Yuzu to have a larger safety bubble around him at all times. This also revealed something else to me: I’m lucky Yuzu isn’t a synchronized swimmer.
This is part of why the final program was so satisfying (the Safety Bubble – not the Synchronized Swimming). The other skaters formed their “hanging out at a party” clumps and stayed perfectly in place while Stallion Yuzu broke out of the gates. It felt like he took all the energy he would normally exert over the course of a two and a half hour Ice Story and condensed it (and every step sequence over his entire career) into 32 seconds. (Including a new favorite, Rock Besti!)
Yuzu, that final…display…was borderline “Cruel Angel’s Thesis” legendary. I’ll sit through three hours of most anything to see you do that.
But back to Yuzu in the dark. (There’s a sentence for ya.) Despite the “other” moments, concern over Yuzu’s eyebrow (I hope whoever stitched him up had a steady hand and nerves of steel) and more historically horrifying costumes, what I was most left with after this abbreviated year of FaOI was the symbolism of the pre-program applauding in the dark.
It made me realize that we also applaud Yuzu during the dark times which have nothing to do with how many stage lights are on in the arena. We are here to support him when he isn’t in the spotlight or even able to be seen at all. But we are applauding because we know he’s out there. We know he hears us. And we know he needs us.
The conclusion of RE_PRAY showed us that Yuzu misses us during these dark times too. It was like “You hang up first. No, you hang up first.” He closed the RE_PRAY door on a Tuesday and by Sunday he had to reopen it and ask “Are you still there? Do you still love me?” Yes, Yuzu. You could leave for months and come back and crack the door open and you’d find us all still talking about how much we love you…and what you were wearing. (But please don’t leave us for that long. We start just making stuff up – like Milan runways and World Tours – when left to our own devices.)
No matter how long we wait in the dark, we will be patient with our anticipation. Because we know that somewhere you are planning something to show us sometime. And it will be worth it – just like the Rock Besti. Just don’t be startled when you turn on the lights and we’re all still here…no matter what costume you’re wearing.
Author’s note: This post was scheduled to be released at 9 AM EST on Monday, June 10. Two hours before that could happen, Yuzu momentarily flipped on the lights – for approximately 9 minutes – and the Fanyus burst into applause at the brightness of his presence. We hope we showed you we’re still here, Yuzu. And we aren’t going anywhere in the dark.
